Wednesday, January 27, 2010


I was recently tarred and feathered for mentioning that I do yoga on my Bookface status. Like it's some horrifically emasculating sin against manliness. Hogwash. Yoga is badass, and that's a fact. Here's some reasons why.

First of all, guys, you can thank yoga for the invention of yoga pants, the best thing to happen to your daily commute since the iPod.

Second, LeBron James does yoga, and he dunks on everyone. Coincidence? I think not.

Third, it's really fucking hard. It may be a breeze for you bendy little women out there, but it's a real challenge for a muscle-bound superman such as myself. Every time, it makes me sore in places I didn't know I had. Thanks to yoga, I can touch my toes with ease...I'll be doing hands-free headstands in no time. Also, it's easily customizable - you can do it the hard way, or the easy way, as demonstrated by the two images below.

Fourth, every pose has a crazy name. Usually the names are badass animal maneuvers, like "spinning water monkey," "flying dolphin fangs," "smashing sloth fist" or "fiery horse's head." When you channel the entire animal kingdom through your workout routine, it's gotta be badass.

Fifth, yoga is the perfect prison workout. You can do it in your cell whenever you want! (However, you may get shanked if anyone sees you.)

Sixth, drunken Russians do yoga (see image below), and they're as badass as it comes.

Last but not least, you get to take a nap when it's over. After a long, sweaty, stretchy yoga session, nothing feels better than falling asleep on the floor in a room full of people while the instructor whispers sweet yoga lullaby's.

So there you have it: Yoga, the new badass workout.


Matt said...

MonoCoque said...

hahaha, is he doing the nazi salute??