Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Things I Wanna Cuss Out Christian Bale-Style

Christian Bale has a dirty fucking mouth. During the filming of the new Terminator movie, Bale lost his mind and cussed out some crew member because he kept walking around the set. I highly recommend you listen to it. Honestly, I don't blame the guy. Not because he makes a solid Batman, and not (really) because I'm scared of him. But because there's some motherfucking bullshit that pisses me the fuck off, and I wanna scream at it too. For example:

Doo-dee-doo, playing around on the internet, about to click on something, then....POP-UP!!! "Wanna find your high school sweetheart?" "Is your IQ higher than Barack Obama's?" "Free Credit Report!"

SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! Do I just wander into the middle of your life, little pop-up, and out of nowhere start screaming in your face?? Huh? Do I? NO! No I fucking don't! You're unbelievable little pop-up....If I turn my computer on AND YOU'RE STILL FUCKING HERE, I will fucking KICK YOUR ASS!!!

La-dee-da, got a good job, making money in the market, just bought a house....WHAM! Recession, you're laid off, the market hits record lows, your house gets foreclosed.

Fuck's sake man! Are you fucking professional economy?! No! NO!! You're amateur. Do you want me to trash your fucking world?! I'm just living my fucking life, and you come in and trash the whole fucking thing!!! THINK for one fucking second!! You ever think about hey, it's fucking distracting to have the economy fucking suck right now!? Give me a fucking answer!!!

Mmmm, so warm. So comfortable...feel like I'm floating. It's so dark and quiet and relaxing. I love sleeping. Haaaaappy dreeeeeams... BEE BEE BEE!!! Wake up it's your alarm! Go to work!

No let's NOT go again! I'm going to fucking kick your fucking ass if you don't shut up for a minute! What don't you fucking understand!? You want me to go back to sleep!?!? Well it's fucking USELESS now, isn't it?! It's the millionth time that you don't give a FUCK about what's going on in my dreams!!! Stay the fuck outta my dreams, alarm. Do you understand my mind is not in a happy place if you're doing that? Fuck!!!