Christian Bale has a dirty fucking mouth.During the filming of the new Terminator movie, Bale lost his mind and cussed out some crew member because he kept walking around the set. I highly recommend you listen to it. Honestly, I don't blame the guy. Not because he makes a solid Batman, and not (really) because I'm scared of him. But because there's some motherfucking bullshit that pisses me the fuck off, and I wanna scream at it too. For example:
Doo-dee-doo, playing around on the internet, about to click on something, then....POP-UP!!! "Wanna find your high school sweetheart?" "Is your IQ higher than Barack Obama's?" "Free Credit Report!"
SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! Do I just wander into the middle of your life, little pop-up, and out of nowhere start screaming in your face?? Huh? Do I? NO! No I fucking don't! You're unbelievable little pop-up....If I turn my computer on AND YOU'RE STILL FUCKING HERE, I will fucking KICK YOUR ASS!!!
La-dee-da, got a good job, making money in the market, just bought a house....WHAM! Recession, you're laid off, the market hits record lows, your house gets foreclosed. Fuck's sake man! Are you fucking professional economy?! No! NO!! You're amateur. Do you want me to trash your fucking world?! I'm just living my fucking life, and you come in and trash the whole fucking thing!!! THINK for one fucking second!! You ever think about hey, it's fucking distracting to have the economy fucking suck right now!? Give me a fucking answer!!!
Mmmm, so warm. So comfortable...feel like I'm floating. It's so dark and quiet and relaxing. I love sleeping. Haaaaappy dreeeeeams... BEE BEE BEE!!! Wake up it's your alarm! Go to work!
No let's NOT go again! I'm going to fucking kick your fucking ass if you don't shut up for a minute! What don't you fucking understand!? You want me to go back to sleep!?!? Well it's fucking USELESS now, isn't it?! It's the millionth time that you don't give a FUCK about what's going on in my dreams!!! Stay the fuck outta my dreams, alarm. Do you understand my mind is not in a happy place if you're doing that? Fuck!!!
So much crazy shit has been happening in the world, I've been a bit overwhelmed with blog ideas. The planet is in a state of disarray, and it's time to start fixing all of our problems. So let's get down to business:
1. Porn As you all know, the porn industry asked for a federal bailout. This request was spearheaded by Joe Francis of Girls Gone Wild and Larry Flynt of Hustler. I'm kinda surprised that Joe Francis is still at it, considering that in 2004 he was kidnapped and sodomized by some guy exacting revenge. But that's (funny and) beside the point. The porn industry is in trouble, and needs to be saved. Solution? Space Porn. This untouched frontier of porn is an economic stimulus waiting to happen. Without getting into the details of how anti-gravity would make porn infinitely more entertaining, let me assure you that space porn would go flying off the shelves. But how can the porn industry afford to launch their best and not-brightest into the final frontier? Easy: Henry T. Nicholas III. This guy is the CEO of Broadcom and worth $2.3 billion. He also built a "sex cave" under his mansion, employs a small army of prostitutes, and goes through more white powder than Shaun White. If anyone in the world is willing to shell out millions to see Jenna Jameson in zero gravity, it's this maniac. And we wonder why our corporations are folding. 2. World Records
A Thai woman was just placed in the Guinness Book of World Records for spending 33 days in a room with 5,000 scorpions. Apparently this beat some idiot's previous record of less days in a room with 5,000 scorpions. I bet he feels like a total chump. Can we please have some sort of integrity with our world records?? People are just making up complete nonsense bullshit "records." Most tic-tacs eaten by a midget underwater. Most Bowflex commercials watched upside-down. Most days in a row standing on 1,000 pankakes. Most impossible commercial airpline crash-landings in the Hudosn River. Most butterflies cut in half by a blindfolded samurai. Most times busting out into uncontrollable laughter during Saw V. This could go on forever. Which would be another world record in itself.
January 20, 2001: George W. Bush inaugurated as the 43rd President of the United States of America. September 11, 2001: 3,000 citizens killed and New York City buried in smoke after the most fatal attack ever executed on US soil. May 1, 2003:George W. Bush announces "Mission Accomplished" referring to the post-9/11 invasion of Iraq. March 20, 2003 - Present: WAR, WAR, WAR. The next five years of the Iraq war kills tens of thousands of US soldiers and Iraqi citizens, and costs the US at least $2 trillion. December 5, 2008: George W. Bush announces that the US is in a recession.
December 14, 2008: A guy in Iraq sums it up better than I ever could have.
Is anyone honestly surprised by this? Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich was just arrested on federal corruption charges, and it's all over the news.Well no shit. Just look at the guy! I've never seen more of a "why am I not surprised to hear this guy is a douchebag" face.
The writing was certainly on the wall. His office is in the state capital of Springfield, 200 miles outside of his home in Chicago. Because he didn't want to live in the Illinois Executive Mansion, he opted to fly private between the two, on $6,000 tax dollars a day. Meanwhile, he requires that the Mansion stay vacant. Not exactly signs of good character here.
After shutting down a relative's landfill (shady) in 2005, he used the term "testicular virility" to refer to himself. That alone almost confirms his douchebag status. His office has been investigated or indicted on charges of hiring fraud, extortion, accepting kickbacks, and shakedowns.
Apparently, Rod Blagojevich went to law school and became a lawyer. I just took two exams on legal ethics, and they didn't even talk about these kinds of crimes...because everyone knows they're illegal. Now the guy has been arrested for attempting to sell Obama's old Senate seat. I'm gonna go ahead and say I'm not surprised at all by this....just look at the guy!
Christian Bale has a dirty fucking mouth. During the filming of the new Terminator movie, Bale lost his mind and cussed out some crew member because he kept walking around the set. I highly recommend you listen to it. Honestly, I don't blame the guy. Not because he makes a solid Batman, and not (really) because I'm scared of him. But because there's some motherfucking bullshit that pisses me the fuck off, and I wanna scream at it too. For example:
La-dee-da, got a good job, making money in the market, just bought a house....WHAM! Recession, you're laid off, the market hits record lows, your house gets foreclosed.
Mmmm, so warm. So comfortable...feel like I'm floating. It's so dark and quiet and relaxing. I love sleeping. Haaaaappy dreeeeeams... BEE BEE BEE!!! Wake up it's your alarm! Go to work!
