Thursday, March 26, 2009

Headline Potpurri

"Miracle Fruit" Turns Sour Things Sweet

Apparently West Africa has been growing these little red berries that make your mouth trip out on ecstasy. When you pop these little devils in your mouth, you don't taste anything. But once it releases its magic flavor serum into your mouth, all sour or bitter foods will taste extraordinarily sweet. Lemons taste like candy oranges, Brussels sprouts taste like caramel corn, hot sauce tastes like honey. Do you realize the potential here? Essentially this makes gross healthy foods taste like our favorite childhood candy treats. I'm getting on a plane to Africa immediately, and coming back with crates full of the best-selling diet drug of all time.

Tesla Model S: $50,000 EV Sedan Seats Seven, 300-mile Range, 0-60 in 5.5s

This new luxury vehicle is faster than most sports sedans, less expensive than most luxury SUVs, and it runs on fucking electricity. It goes into production in 2011. So what you're telling me is that I can drop fifty grand on a new BMW 5-series, or I can spend the same on this crazy space car, and never buy gas again? I'll take the latter please. Again, there's huge potential here. Instead of spending the rest of our lives fighting other countries for their oil, the US can have all cars that run on electricity generated from these.

Hackers Crack Into Texas Road Sign, Warn of Zombies Ahead

I'm really happy to know that hackers are no longer complete nerds. This is probably one of the best uses of hackery I've ever seen. I need to get my hands on this hacking equipment. Again the potential here is limitless. I would make highway signs read:"Take Top Off Now" or "Watch For Cars" or "I'm In Your Backseat" or "You're Dreaming This."

1 comment:

Elaine said...

Haha...I like the last one :)